Signs your relationship wasn’t meant to last

Welcome to the Bug House! Time to sift out all the illusions from the facts!

Decode Bug 1:

Sometimes you’ll discover the relationship wasn’t meant to last because of what your lover does not say!

We’re not always aware of the obvious… Have you ever thought about what your lover DOES NOT SAY, rather than what your lover does say?

Sometimes, nothing is what it seems to be! Did your experience teach you something about yourself that you needed to change, or did your experience teach you something about someone else, a revelation that took the wind out of your sails because you felt like a weed that was plucked out of your lover’s garden?

Decode Bug 2:

Sometimes you’ll discover the relationship wasn’t meant to last because your

partner pulled away and stopped answering texts and phone calls. The relationship started out like a romantic whirlwind, but ended as fast as it started!

Sometimes you need to dial 911 for higher-self and listen to that little voice (the whisperer) that talks to you and keeps you safe!

You need to pay more attention to your initial gut feeling because your gut usually knows when something feels amiss, or maybe you needed to start decoding the dreams you were experiencing and what these dreams were telling you, or maybe you just had a strong hunch that followed you around like an irritant for a reason because something did not feel right!

Decode Bug 3:

Sometimes you’ll discover the relationship wasn’t meant to last because your partner picked on you for everything you did! Where you in a: It’s-my-way-or-the-highway- relationship? Did your partner control the relationship or did your partner have a caustic tongue and say hurtful things to you? Did you lose your personality and walk on egg shells to keep the peace?

This is the sign that your partner does not respect you and probably does not respect others! Did your partner threaten you and say that the grass is greener elsewhere if you did not agree with his or her way of thinking. This is also a sign that your partner might be cheating on you and comparing you with someone else.

I learned early on to put this type of fire out the second it starts. You need to face the heat of the lion that roars at you at that moment, so the lion does not devour you!

You need to stand up for yourself and be firm about your beliefs or you risk losing yourself and getting hurt, spending years in the house of self-undoing to heal yourself!

Decode Bug 4:

Sometimes you’ll discover the relationship wasn’t meant to last because your partner is still in love with someone in the past.

Did you hang onto a relationship with hopes that your partner would choose you after he or she healed? Did the relationship end up as a friends-with-benefits-relationship or a sexual relationship because the past hindered your partner’s future because he or she was still stuck in the baleful ghosts of the past!

Bravo for taking a risk, because if we do not take risks, we do not grow, but be careful with what kind of risks you take, especially if you have high expectations! Did you know that everyone heals differently? Statistics say that a 5 years relationship takes about 2.5 years to heal…

You need to be careful when you meet someone and make sure the baggage of the past is long gone and not following that person around!

Decode Bug 5:

Sometimes you’ll discover the relationship wasn’t meant to last because your partner’s family have decided on a marriage within the same religion or ethnicity and you did not meet the requirements!

Both of you were passionately in love with each other, but your partner would not go against family. Later, the relationship ends because the family found the right mate for your partner and planned the marriage, and the passionate relationship ended painfully!

I have never found a happy ending with this kind of situation, and my advice is DO NOT get close to anyone that only believes in family arranged marriages.

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Don’t let yourself be the victim to someone else’s bitterness

Just because someone you know or even love is bitter you do not have to be so. Sometimes when someone you know or love is bitter it is a case of damned if you and damned if you don’t no matter what side you choose to take. By taking a stand with them or against them or just simply not taking a stand at all you become a victim. Trapped.

Divorce is a case where the bitterness of one partner against the other can lead a circle of friends to take sides and when that bitterness overflows outside of the divorce court multiple lives can be harmed, hurt or damaged.

It takes a lot of strength to stand up and not become a victim of the bitterness of someone else. Try and calm them down and you get your head bitten off because “you don’t understand” and stand with them especially when you are not quite sure of the big picture means others you know will say “what are you doing?”. You really cannot win.

Bitterness and anger can brew up in all of us and any of us but to avoid being a victim of their bitterness just needs you to be strong and ensure your mind is clear. It is easy to be drawn into the bitterness, it may even feel safe, but to avoid becoming a victim you need to get the facts. Knowing what is making the person bitter allows you to make an educated decision as to where you stand and then should you choose to join them in their bitterness you may have an argument. But very often there is something personal about the bitterness and the anger is really just an attention seeking technique and the only way you can help that person overcome their bitterness is to not sink the same level.

Keeping a clear head and not being influenced about someone’s bitterness gets a matter resolved easier. In the workplace it is very easy to become bitter at someone but the real leader rises up when they don’t choose sides but rather try and resolve the matter. It is a powerful gift to be not drawn into the bitterness of someone else, keeping level headed and yet showing enough concern and compassion allows you to become a victor of the matter rather than a victim.

It is often not easy; often there are a pile of emotions attached to the matter in you and the other party. Sometimes you may feel it is not even your place to interfere but somehow you know you have to and this is where the clear head and calm thinking works to your advantage. By remaining calm, trying to understand the facts and finding the trigger for the bitterness is essential, it may just be a simple apology or it may be, as it often in is a divorce case something a much deeper. Either way by keeping calm and being strong, even assertive means you can’t and even won’t become a victim of someone else’s bitterness.

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Self Sabotage – Get out of your own way

Doing something we know is going to sabotage what we plan do, we open our mouth, we procrastinate or just do something that we seem to not be able to not do. It’s called Self-Sabotage and it creates problems for us all and interferes with our long-term and even short term goal.

By far the number one self-sabotaging behavior is procrastination but there are others that include drinking, comfort eating and in the more hectic cases self-injury.  At the time we are doing what we are doing it seems so worthwhile but the end result is nearly always the same and it is not good or not what we hoped for and yet many people seem to engage in self-sabotage repeatedly.

Most people are not even aware that what they are doing is sabotage, a lot of what’s happening happens at a subconscious level or happens in a way that it is believed to be helping.  There is no guarantee that someone will stop doing something even if a certain behavior is proven to be self-sabotaging to them but it is a possible to overcome nearly all acts of self-sabotage that people do and it can be stopped every time and we can get out of our own way.

Some things are simple, some take some specialist help and there are even computer programs that can help but here are 5 simple steps to overcome self-sabotage that anyone can use.

Recognition

First of all you need to recognise that what you are doing is self-sabotage and recognise the activity or behavior and any linked behavior.

Change of thought

A lot of self-sabotage comes as a result of negative thinking. Whilst it is challenging to change instant thoughts you can change how you respond. To react is a knee-jerk reaction to respond requires you to slow down, pause and consider the positives and the negatives and then choose the positives. Change the way you think.

Take action

You next need to take action, move forward with whatever you need to do. Believing in your positives thoughts the action doing removes distractions. Once you have got into what you need to do and need to accomplish you feel more positive and this in itself removes that self-sabotaging habit, especially the procrastination that is often top of the list for us all.

Be thankful

A positive, thankful and grateful mind creates a very different attitude in a person. Look around you and while you may see misery, debt or even a huge work load – as I write this I am sat with a 6 massive deadlines – and it doesn’t look good. Take a second look, find something to be grateful for, find two and then find ten and feel the immediate change within yourself.  Self-Sabotage is defeated by being grateful and thankful

Reward yourself

The most important thing, especially for me, is to reward myself. Plan the reward, this will allow you to focus on something positive when you have done what you need to do.  The reward will block out the negativity and become a powerful tool in your overcoming of self-sabotage.

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#1: When did you begin offering Psychic Readings?

I started giving readings at a young age.  Practicing on family members and friends.

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7 Things to Consider Before You Contact Your Ex

1. How long has it been?

Break ups are hard but conventional wisdom, sage advice and loads of experience tell us that time heals all wounds. While that may not be entirely true, it goes a long way when it comes to a break up.

If you and your beloved just split last week, it is probably too soon to make contact. Some experts advise a period of at least 30 days with no contact at all, after which you can examine your feelings and motives further and perhaps reconsider.

2. What triggered your desire to make contact?

Did a special anniversary just pass for you and your ex? Did you hear a song that reminds you of him or her on the radio? Did you find a keepsake that made you feel nostalgic for your time together? If there is some sentimental reason that you can identify associated with a sudden desire to make contact, you may want to give it some time for that emotion to pass so that you can step back and look at the situation a little more objectively before you reach out.

3. What do you hope to achieve by making contact?

This is important and requires some solid self-examination. Are you hoping to get back together? Do you just want to know how the person is doing as a friend who was a significant part of your life for a time? Are you looking for answers about the break up? Are you hoping he or she has changed? Before you make contact with your ex, you need to be honest with yourself about what you are hoping to get out of it, consider whether the expectation is appropriate or reasonable and give some thought to how it could turn out.

4. If you are hoping to reunite, what if he or she is not interested?

Since this is most often the desire of the person reaching out to an ex, it deserves special attention and consideration. If this is your goal, try your best to realistically assess the chances of a reunion actually happening, and try to assess how you will react if you are rejected. Is the risk worth the possibility of experiencing the pain of the break up all over again.

5. Remember why you broke up.

There is a reason why you are not together anymore. Before you open yourself up to the possibility of any type of relationship with your ex (romantic or otherwise), take a look at that reason. People can change, but the truth is that they most often do not. If you are hoping that whatever problematic behaviors or personality traits your ex had have promptly disappeared, you may be wrong. If you are hoping that he or she will suddenly be more tolerant of whatever it was about you that seemed insurmountable before, again, you may be wrong. Look at the reasons for the break up and consider whether you really believe the obstacles to your relationship can be overcome or if you are just giving in to sentimentality.

6. Are you mentally prepared for contact?

Before you make contact with an ex, make sure that you are in a good emotional and mental place to do so. Be sure that you are in touch with who you are and what you want from relationships with important people in your life. Be clear with yourself about what you are willing to compromise on and what you are not so that you don’t find yourself right back where you started.

7. Is it time to move on?

Again, be honest and true to yourself. If you are questioning whether getting back in touch with your ex is a good decision at all, that may be your gut telling you that it’s not. Imagine your life going forward, is your ex an essential part of it? Really? Be clear before you reach out and risk falling back into a bad pattern.

Before you throw yourself out there to make contact with your ex, speak with myself or anyone of the love psychics at Zenory that can first help you understand where his or her heart is currently at, how they are feeling toward you, or if they have any intention on resolving things with you., perhaps are likely to engage with you.

Your not alone and we are here to help you through it.

With Love, Shirely xx

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Soulmate Separation

When you have made the conscious connection within your physical being that this particular soul is a true soulmate, it is unbearable to be emotionally and physically without this soul.  What you must remember is that we are never without each other.  Just because we are in a physical body, we are consistently speaking to each other in our form of communication in the other dimension, called telepathy.  Telepathy is the energy we use because we are light beings having a human experience here.  Light is energy.  Your soul mate feels you, feels your every thought, feels your every need and desire.  However, everything will happen in divine time according to your divine path that you are destined to travel.  We have a soul contract with our soul mate.  Within this contract, we are specifically in connection with them to learn the lessons we came here to experience with them.  When you desire someone so much, this energy will sometimes mean the experience is unfinished.

If you never thought of them again, it is a sure sign to know it is finished and you have completed your lessons together.  When this unfinished feeling occurs within you, it is unbearable, every moment you are in deep thought and yearning to be with this other soul.  It becomes almost like an obsession with your mind, your higher self, and your physical being.  It is torture.

What you must understand is that when something is not working, it can be fixed.  Please keep in mind every soul is on a different timing for their own lessons and process here.  If your soul mate is not ready yet for the true commitment you are looking for, give them time to have clarity and understanding of what you truly mean to them.  Do not contact them, wait for them to contact you.  Respond to them from a place of love and understanding.  Love is freedom and acceptance of things that cannot be changed. Love them for who they are and what they are teaching you. Your soul connection will lead you to your destiny regardless of what you do, so please trust in your divine guidance and have faith to soon receive your blessings.

Remember, this is why you are here.  Your vision is being manifested because it already exists in your destiny.

If you would like to know more about your soulmate connection, contact Psychic Joy today!

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Staying Centered When Life Seems Overwhelming

We’ve all been there. Just when you think you’re getting on top of all the crazy in your life, the Universe throws you for a loop. It may be anything from an unexpected home repair, an illness that gets you down for just long enough to fall behind on everything, or a friend that needs you to drop everything to attend to a desperate need. Or perhaps your life has been in chaos for some time, the time of life when you are raising children, struggling financially, or caring for aging friends and family and it all seems like too much. Whatever your situation, when you find yourself overwhelmed, here are four quick tips to help you find your way back to centre.

1. Just breathe.

Although it may sound trite, taking a minute to just breathe can be incredibly powerful. Check out just long enough to close your eyes, attempt to clear your mind and focus on the simple life-affirming act of breathing in and out. Count your breaths, eliminate the background noise and take an easy moment to collect yourself by focusing on this simple essence of life.

2. Develop a Personal Mantra.

Spend some time examining what it is that it as at the core of what is causing you to feel overwhelmed, preferably at a time when you are not in the midst of the craziness. Perhaps you will identify that it is a lack of balance, and your mantra could be “I can find balance.” Perhaps there is a quote or phrase that applies well to your situation or that brings you comfort that could become your mantra, such as “this too shall pass” or “all suffering is temporary.” Any word or phrase that has special meaning to you can be helpful to focus on and repeat to yourself when in a time of chaos. If you can find the time to quietly meditate or write on that word, subject or phrase during difficult times that may be useful in assisting you with getting back to your centre as well.

3. Practice Good Self Care.

The easiest thing to do when life seems overwhelming can be to tend to everyone else’s needs before your own. Don’t. You may not be able to spend a lot of time on yourself during a busy season of life but making sure that you take the time to eat nourishing foods, drink plenty of water and get quality sleep can work wonders in your life. Force your mind to listen to what your body is saying. If your body is tired, allow it to rest, even if just for a brief moment. Focusing on your most basic physical and emotional needs is a great way to stay centered and maintain your mind-body connection. Be kind to yourself.

4. Take a Break from Technology.

Technology can be a wonderful thing, it brings people with common interests and concerns together, it connects people across the miles, entertains us and keeps us up-to-date and informed. But, it can also distract and overwhelm us. If life already seems overwhelming, trying to keep up with social media posts and the latest news can add to it. Taking a temporary break from your phone or tablet can be a simple way to force you to focus more on yourself, your center, and the tasks at hand in your life. If you can’t completely break away, designate a particular part of your day to attend to your screen-based tasks and keep it only to what is absolutely necessary.

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“The universe is always speaking to us, sending use messages, causing coincidences, reminding us to stop, look around, to believe in something else, something more” ~ Nancy Thayer 

Have you ever found yourself wishing for a sign from the Universe to help you with a big decision, or wondered if an event that seemed like only a coincidence could have been something more? In truth it can be difficult to tell whether some seemingly random happening is actually a sign or just a happy, or not so happy, accident, but there are a few things you can do to help determine whether what you have experienced is truly a sign from the Universe of which you should sit up and take notice.

Become Self Aware

Perhaps the most important thing you can do to become better able to recognize signs in your life is to work on your own self-awareness. Learning to trust yourself can be a lifelong journey, but one worth going on. When you have a strong sense of personal intuition and are able to do what some people refer to as “trusting your gut,” you will also be better able to recognize the messages that you receive from the Universe.

For example, your mind may be telling you to skip out on an event or meeting that you planned to attend because you have another option, but your “gut” is telling you that it is important to go, listen to that gut feeling. It could be the Universe trying to get your attention. Perhaps there is a message being delivered there that you are to receive, or a person attending that will become an important part of your life. When you have a strongly developed awareness of your “gut feelings,” you will be better able to find the signs the Universe is placing around you.

Be Open and Pay Attention

In order to recognize signs from the Universe, you must be open to the idea that one could occur at any time and that it could take many forms. Some people see signs around them in the form of advertisements they take particular notice of, an unexpected run-in with an acquaintance, a particular license plate, or even a song playing on the radio that seems particularly significant. Signs from the Universe do not necessarily come in the form of a clear lightning bolt to the brain. In fact, they are almost always subtle nudgings that you must remain attentive and open to recognize.

Look for Patterns around You

Signs will often come in repetitive patterns. Some people find that a particular number or word will keep showing up in their lives over and over, others find that the same idea will keep rolling back to them in different forms. Perhaps first a thought, then a song played, and then a run-in with a friend that mentions the same idea as well. Many people find that keeping a journal where they jot down happenings that they think may be signs from the Universe can be helpful in recognizing them. If you do so, then when you are wondering if something is truly a sign, you can refer back to your journal over the course of the past weeks or months and look for connections between events that seemed as though they might be significant to you.

Not everything that happens in your life will be a sign from the Universe. There will be information that crosses your path in the mere mundane course of life that is not laden with cosmic significance. However, it is important not to overlook the happenings that feel like signs.

Being open to the messages the Universe may have for you and learning to “trust your gut” are the keys to staying in touch with what the Universe may be trying to tell you.

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#1: When did you begin offering Psychic Readings?

I have been giving readings face to face for over 20 years, I have had the pleasure of getting to know and helping many clients from around the world through my work and I’m very honored to connect with such people using technology.

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10 Ways to Tell if Your Partner is Cheating

It is a sad reality that in many relationships there comes a time when infidelity rears its ugly head. Getting an answer as to whether it is truly happening or is only suspected unjustly can be the first step in moving forward. Consider these ten common indicators if you suspect that your partner is being unfaithful.

#1: A Change in Routine

If your partner has had a sudden change from normal habits and routines, this may be a red flag. If he or she has always left for work and returned from work at the same time each day, always picked up the dry cleaning or the take out at the same time from the same place, and has just generally been Mr. or Mrs. Predictable, but suddenly is coming home late, leaving early or seemingly on a different schedule, it may be worth looking into and asking some careful questions.

#2: An Increased Need for “Alone” Time or Privacy

Is your partner suddenly going for short walks alone, finding flimsy excuses to run errands alone or working on projects behind a closed door that would previously have been open? That may be a sign that you should pay attention to. This “alone time” could be an opportunity to call someone or even meet up with him or her. Insisting that you go along with your partner on some of these errands or walks and monitoring his or her reaction, may be a useful way to find out if he or she is cheating. Does your partner become extremely agitated and annoyed that you want to be included as if you are disrupting plans? If so, this could signal infidelity.

#3: A Change in Appearance

If your partner was always a couch potato but now is suddenly a gym rat and making an effort to lose weight or build muscle seemingly out of nowhere, this could be a sign of cheating. The same goes for a sudden change in hair or clothing style. Often when a person feels that they have a new person to impress rather than their partner who they may take for granted, these kinds of changes occur. If you suspect that this may be the case, ask your partner about their newfound interest in fitness or the trendy new haircut. Is his or her response reasonable? Does it make sense to you or is he or she defensive? The answer may tell you what you need to know.

#4: New Interests

Is your partner who always loved classical music suddenly into punk? Does the person who always hated cold weather now have a sudden passion for winter sports? The development of new interests can signal the entry of a new person into his or her life. Again, it is important to explore whether this is just a strange phase or something more.

#5: Changes in Your Sex Life

Changes in the bedroom can also be a telltale sign of an affair, and not just an absence of sexual contact, but an increase or a request for something new or a different way of performing can signal a problem as well. Any changes that seem unusual to you should be questioned and considered carefully.

#6: Hiding Phones or Computer History

In this day and age, technology abounds and is one of the most common ways that cheaters get caught. If your partner is being unfaithful, you may see the sudden appearance of password protection on his or her phone or laptop or you may notice that he or she keeps the phone with them at all times, rarely leaving it unattended. If you were to open it up, perhaps all text or chat messages have been deleted, whereas previously they might have been kept in the history. You may see apps installed to allow for untraceable chatting that you didn’t even realize he or she had downloaded. He or she may even try to intercept phone bills that may show excessive text messages or calls to a number you don’t recognize. Technology has made it easier for cheaters to keep their secrets, but also easier to get caught. Keeping an eye on your partner’s technology habits may be the key to discovering infidelity if it exists.

#7: Strange Financial Transactions

Affairs can cost money. If your partner is suddenly taking more cash out of the bank account without explanation, this may be cause for concern. He or she could be using cash to pay for dates with, or gifts for, a new interest. If he or she is less careful, you may see unusual charges for activities, meals or items on bank or credit card statements. Taking a careful look at your finances can reveal whether you have something to worry about or if your suspicions are unfounded.

#8: Unexplained Anxiety

Keeping a secret the size of an affair could take a toll on your partner’s nerves. If he or she suddenly seems as though they are constantly looking over one shoulder, is having bouts of insomnia, or is just generally out of sorts with no other obvious explanation, some questions may be in order.

#9: Irritability

This one goes hand in hand with the last. The pressure of having an affair, keeping it private and managing so many secrets can cause mood swings that are unpredictable and unpleasant. If your partner suddenly seems defensive or irritable when approached with simple questions or concerns, you should consider investigating more.

#10: Impulsivity

Despite being nerve-wracking, the thrill of having a secret and of having someone new in your life can also cause a newfound sense of excitement. A partner who is cheating may suddenly be acting like the boyfriend or girlfriend he or she was in college, rather than the middle-aged mom or dad of today. There may be a sudden desire to engage in risky adrenaline fueled behavior that is just a spill over from an affair.

No one of these signs alone is an indicator that your partner is cheating and shouldn’t be assumed to be, but a combination of a few along with your gut feeling that something may not be right can be genuine cause for concern. If you suspect your partner is unfaithful, ask some questions and gather information before you make wild accusations with nothing to back them up. If you do find something worth confronting, take care not to lose control and to communicate with your partner in as open, honest and firm a way as possible given the circumstances.

PLEASE NOTE:  If you have experienced  a form of cheating behavior from your significant other in the past, I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Tell me more in the comments below.  Any links to other posts, images, or videos will be deleted as they can come across as spammy

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