5 Ways to find closure even when your ex won’t talk to you

5 Ways to find closure even when your ex won’t talk to you

Getting over someone or finding closure is not the easiest thing in the world.  It is a tiring process.  When you break up with someone you love, you experience a surge of emotions in you.  

For a prolonged time, there is sadness accompanied by the consistent thought of texting him/her or reaching out to him/her to talk and get things sorted.  But that doesn’t always work and, as harsh as it may sound, is the stupidest thing to do.

Sadness is soon followed by anxiety where you worry whether or not you will ever find love. You will also question your worth and self. That is all natural. But just because it’s natural does not mean that it is healthy. You do not need to feed yourself with thoughts and emotions like those. Separation from a loved one is hard, and it calls for a lot of courage and strength to let go of someone but it is not impossible. Letting go begins with one single step – closure.  

A break up is usually followed by one partner avoiding the other altogether. The reason behind this is often misunderstood. People do that because they do not know how to deal with the plethora of feelings that come with a breakup.

So they try to avoid the feelings and decide to ignore you as if you never existed in their life. As much as it might hurt, you have to understand that this is solely their issue and has nothing to do with what or how much effort you are worth. This understanding comes only with time and there is no way to force it. There is, however, a way to call this feeling. And that is by getting closure. The word closure has much hype associated with itself.  

Most people talk about it but don’t quite know what it is. For me, closure is that one moment—a single moment—where something in you clicks so intensely that your sense of self-worth is retrieved. And while it may not seem sensible, there are ways in which you can bring yourself closer to getting closure.  

5 ways in which you can get closure

Write down whatever you’re feeling, whenever you’re feeling it. Write it as an email, a letter, a text, a note, in a diary or whatever way you like. This is not to send to them but to get out your feelings. With a number of feelings we witness after a breakup, it is absolutely fine to draw inferences that don’t exist. Write to avoid that. Write whatever you think is going on—what could be the possible reason for why they are avoiding you and other things that are on your mind. When you will read these writings a little time later, you will be able to realize what makes sense and what does not. And then you will begin to see things with a much clearer perspective.  

Take control of your feelings.

One thing with which we all struggle in life is acceptance. Accepting the fact that something in your life is changing is the hardest thing to do. But it is also an essential thing. You need to accept what you are feeling. No matter how stupid, idiotic, silly, or lame (whatever adjective you like) you think they are, accept them. There is nothing wrong with feeling too much or too many emotions. Once you accept what you are feeling, you develop a sense of understanding and begin to see the ways to heal them.  

Take charge of yourself

Everything ultimately depends on you. Once you have sorted through the million emotions that you are feeling, you are ready to do what’s necessary to move forward. You need to sit down and ask yourself what is it that you’re trying to hold on to. Is holding on making you happy or vulnerable? Are you avoiding dealing with this because of the void it might create? Ask yourselves these questions every day and you’ll know what you want.  

Spend time alone

After you have been through a breakup, it is very important to spend time alone. What you decide to do in that time is your decision. Cry, scream or lie down still. But spend some time alone. This is imperative for you to gain back the sense of self.

You have loved before and you will love again

Unless it was your first love, you need to remind yourself that you have loved before and you will love again. Life and time do not stop for anyone and neither will they for you. But that does not mean whatever is happening is not meant to be. If it wasn’t meant to happen, it would not have happened. Believe in the power of the universe and remember that the universe knows what it’s doing.