7 Things to Consider Before You Contact Your Ex

7 Things to Consider Before You Contact Your Ex

1. How long has it been?

Break ups are hard but conventional wisdom, sage advice and loads of experience tell us that time heals all wounds. While that may not be entirely true, it goes a long way when it comes to a break up.

If you and your beloved just split last week, it is probably too soon to make contact. Some experts advise a period of at least 30 days with no contact at all, after which you can examine your feelings and motives further and perhaps reconsider.

2. What triggered your desire to make contact?

Did a special anniversary just pass for you and your ex? Did you hear a song that reminds you of him or her on the radio? Did you find a keepsake that made you feel nostalgic for your time together? If there is some sentimental reason that you can identify associated with a sudden desire to make contact, you may want to give it some time for that emotion to pass so that you can step back and look at the situation a little more objectively before you reach out.

3. What do you hope to achieve by making contact?

This is important and requires some solid self-examination. Are you hoping to get back together? Do you just want to know how the person is doing as a friend who was a significant part of your life for a time? Are you looking for answers about the break up? Are you hoping he or she has changed? Before you make contact with your ex, you need to be honest with yourself about what you are hoping to get out of it, consider whether the expectation is appropriate or reasonable and give some thought to how it could turn out.

4. If you are hoping to reunite, what if he or she is not interested?

Since this is most often the desire of the person reaching out to an ex, it deserves special attention and consideration. If this is your goal, try your best to realistically assess the chances of a reunion actually happening, and try to assess how you will react if you are rejected. Is the risk worth the possibility of experiencing the pain of the break up all over again.

5. Remember why you broke up.

There is a reason why you are not together anymore. Before you open yourself up to the possibility of any type of relationship with your ex (romantic or otherwise), take a look at that reason. People can change, but the truth is that they most often do not. If you are hoping that whatever problematic behaviors or personality traits your ex had have promptly disappeared, you may be wrong. If you are hoping that he or she will suddenly be more tolerant of whatever it was about you that seemed insurmountable before, again, you may be wrong. Look at the reasons for the break up and consider whether you really believe the obstacles to your relationship can be overcome or if you are just giving in to sentimentality.

6. Are you mentally prepared for contact?

Before you make contact with an ex, make sure that you are in a good emotional and mental place to do so. Be sure that you are in touch with who you are and what you want from relationships with important people in your life. Be clear with yourself about what you are willing to compromise on and what you are not so that you don’t find yourself right back where you started.

7. Is it time to move on?

Again, be honest and true to yourself. If you are questioning whether getting back in touch with your ex is a good decision at all, that may be your gut telling you that it’s not. Imagine your life going forward, is your ex an essential part of it? Really? Be clear before you reach out and risk falling back into a bad pattern.

Before you throw yourself out there to make contact with your ex, speak with myself or anyone of the love psychics at Zenory that can first help you understand where his or her heart is currently at, how they are feeling toward you, or if they have any intention on resolving things with you., perhaps are likely to engage with you.

Your not alone and we are here to help you through it.

With Love, Shirely xx