Don’t let yourself be the victim to someone else’s bitterness

Just because someone you know or even love is bitter you do not have to be so. Sometimes when someone you know or love is bitter it is a case of damned if you and damned if you don’t no matter what side you choose to take. By taking a stand with them or against them or just simply not taking a stand at all you become a victim. Trapped.

Divorce is a case where the bitterness of one partner against the other can lead a circle of friends to take sides and when that bitterness overflows outside of the divorce court multiple lives can be harmed, hurt or damaged.

It takes a lot of strength to stand up and not become a victim of the bitterness of someone else. Try and calm them down and you get your head bitten off because “you don’t understand” and stand with them especially when you are not quite sure of the big picture means others you know will say “what are you doing?”. You really cannot win.

Bitterness and anger can brew up in all of us and any of us but to avoid being a victim of their bitterness just needs you to be strong and ensure your mind is clear. It is easy to be drawn into the bitterness, it may even feel safe, but to avoid becoming a victim you need to get the facts. Knowing what is making the person bitter allows you to make an educated decision as to where you stand and then should you choose to join them in their bitterness you may have an argument. But very often there is something personal about the bitterness and the anger is really just an attention seeking technique and the only way you can help that person overcome their bitterness is to not sink the same level.

Keeping a clear head and not being influenced about someone’s bitterness gets a matter resolved easier. In the workplace it is very easy to become bitter at someone but the real leader rises up when they don’t choose sides but rather try and resolve the matter. It is a powerful gift to be not drawn into the bitterness of someone else, keeping level headed and yet showing enough concern and compassion allows you to become a victor of the matter rather than a victim.

It is often not easy; often there are a pile of emotions attached to the matter in you and the other party. Sometimes you may feel it is not even your place to interfere but somehow you know you have to and this is where the clear head and calm thinking works to your advantage. By remaining calm, trying to understand the facts and finding the trigger for the bitterness is essential, it may just be a simple apology or it may be, as it often in is a divorce case something a much deeper. Either way by keeping calm and being strong, even assertive means you can’t and even won’t become a victim of someone else’s bitterness.