Let go of the past, including your ex

“When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along”

It’s never easy getting over the pain of previous dysfunctional relationship. 

Even though you may feel more in control of your feelings, the pain and hurt from such a past may still linger into the present, even after you have moved on, if that’s relationship or friendship wise whatever it maybe.

There can be many aspects where you will find yourself reliving your past relationship antics into a new one.  Comparing your new partner to an ex-relationship which left you broken to name one thing.   In an attempt to safeguard your heart out of fear that your new love interest may just turn around and repeat the same thing, You’re stuck living in that past.

As we fear reliving that heart ache experience again, being cheated on, being lied to, or manipulation from your previous lover to keep you stuck can be terrifying experiences.  The thought of these past experiences ever happening again can make you feel uncertain about situations moving forward, and keep you stuck in a disruptive cycle that you may not see yourself.  In most cases what we often forget is that we are bringing old baggage into the present, therefore tormenting our current love interest who is mostly caring, loving, and honest which was actually bitterness feeding from your past. 

Most people do not realize that they are living in a space that is actually tarnishing their chances of new love, new opportunities, relationships/friendship wise, instead of letting go of resentment and bitterness.

“You can’t reach what’s in front of you, until you let go of what is behind you.”  Once you realize this, things will start to unfold and we gain more control and happiness in our lives.  Learning new coping strategies to help you deal with the pain and heal can help you move out of the old and into the new.

How to manage your thoughts: 

When I found out my ex-partner had cheated on me, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I was doing wrong, and what the other person was doing right.  I couldn’t stop thinking about why I wasn’t good enough, and why things had changed, why my ex had changed.  I thought back to so many ways in which I went above and beyond for her needs, and therefore started to think all this wasn’t enough.  No matter how much you give someone or care for them, they will cheat regardless.  I would constantly picture him with another woman, the thoughts never made me angry, only put me into a place of self-pity and unworthiness thoughts.

All I was ever thinking was “how on earth could he do this to me? Why would he throw away everything we had, shared, our love? None of this made any sense.  And while he had seemed to move on, I was suffering in silence.  This all turned into destructive behaviour to the point where I had to turn away, and move on.  This was a hard shift after focusing myself on him, and building our future together.   Instead of dwelling on the pain, I needed to find a way to let go of the pain and bring myself back to earth.  I turned to a love psychic who brought me out of this destructive pattern and therefore gave me hope again to feel more in control and empowered.

I began to learn ways to cope with the hurt, often saying instead of asking myself why he chose someone over me?  I would often remind myself that I was better off with someone who treats me with love and respect.

Every time I did this, I began to feel less and less resentment.  Changing my thoughts and feelings helped me to understand myself more and love me more and moved on with my life.